Psychiatry is too complicated for a Muggle family physician like me. Using the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV) makes me feel like I have been affected by a Confundus Charm.
Why take the time and effort required to conjure a psychiatric diagnosis when many conditions can be treated with the same medication?

For example, Paxil (paroxetine) is indicated for the treatment of:

• major depressive disorder,
• obsessive-compulsive disorder,
• generalized anxiety disorder,
• post-traumatic stress disorder,
• panic disorder,
• social anxiety disorder and
• premenstrual dysphoric disorder.

Why don’t we treat first and ask questions latter?
Mnemonic devices such as SIGECAPS, DIGFAST and I DESPAIRR can help. But C GASP DIE sounds more like a magical incantation?

What we need is a magical solution. We could reprogram the Harry Potter Sorting Hat at Hogwarts School of Magic to sort patients by psychiatric condition.

The Sorting Hat could use Depressed Patients Seem Anxious, So Claim Psychiatrists:

1. Depression and other mood disorders.
2. Personality disorders.
3. Substance abuse disorders.
4. Anxiety disorders.
5. Somatization disorder, eating disorders.
6. Cognitive disorders.
7. Psychotic disorders.

Now, we can use Divination to find the best treatment.

Image courtesy of SweetGirl by Creative Commons